Relationship Trauma Protocol

The Relationship Trauma Protocol is a unique approach within BrainWorking Recursive Therapy (BWRT) that I developed in 2017 to help address the unique and lasting effects of relationship trauma. Since its creation, this protocol has been adopted by BWRT therapists worldwide as an effective method to help clients move beyond painful relationship experiences and rebuild their sense of self worth.

How It Differs from the main BWRT level 1 protocol

In the main BWRT level 1 protocol the focus is on changing how we respond emotionally to triggers that cause distress. The process works by helping you imagine a preferred, more positive response to difficult experiences; and then using the BWRT process to install that preferred response as your new automatic response to that type of situation. It’s a highly effective solution-focused method for overcoming a very wide range of issues. 

However, in the case of relationship trauma, this is something that clients can sometimes struggle with. Some things that happen in relationships are just so sad, disappointing, or terrifying, that it’s difficult to think of any response to them other than sadness, horror, or disgust. For many, it’s simply too hard to even imagine a different healthier response when the memories feel so overwhelming.

A New Path to Healing Relationship Trauma

Rather than trying to work on the traumatic memory directly, Relationship Trauma Protocol adopts a different approach: helping clients create a powerful new mental association – a mental bridge  – between a good memory that occurred before the traumatic experience and another memory that occurred afterwards. And from there jumping into another memory of someone who has previously made them feel good about themselves, or with whom they've had a good relationship. The process changes the way your mind responds to these difficult memories, allowing you to let go of the hold they have on you.

The Role of Restorative Relationships

Some clients find it easy to think of a person who previously made them feel good about themselves, whereas others may struggle to think of someone who feels suitable. However, since all positive or even neutral encounters with other people can potentially serve the function of a restorative relationship, it’s always possible to find someone to work with (even if you can’t think of them right now). 

Of course, until now you may not have given much significance to that pleasant or easy-going relationship, whilst giving massive significance to the relationship that you feel so traumatised about. Nonetheless, through the simple yet powerful process of the Relationship Trauma Protocol it’s possible to simultaneously diminish the damage caused by the traumatic relationship experience while magnifying the positive influence of the restorative relationship, creating a profound shift in the way that you feel about yourself.

Is This the Right Step for Me?

It's natural for clients to experience some doubt thinking "Is this really going to work for me?" until they’ve actually experienced it for themselves.

Of course, everyone is unique, and some people's journey to healing and recovery requires a few extra steps, but I can assure you that your ability to heal and transform your experience of life is far greater than you currently realise.  

Review of Relationship Trauma Protocol by Dr Annalisa Manca

I’m grateful to Dr Annalisa Manca for the following review of the Relationship Trauma Protocol:

“I've had the opportunity to use Adam's Relationship Trauma Protocol multiple times with various clients, and I have been thoroughly impressed with its effectiveness.

What makes this protocol particularly valuable is its ability to address relationship-related trauma—whether with parents, ex-partners, siblings, or friends—even in situations where imagining a preferred response or outcome is impractical. By incorporating the concept of a "restorative relationship"—a powerful psychotherapeutic tool that highlights past positive connections—the protocol allows clients to shift their perception of self and reduce the emotional burden of traumatic memories.

In practice, I have found that clients not only respond well to the process but genuinely enjoy it. The ability to connect with positive past relationships while simultaneously diminishing the distress caused by traumatic ones provides a profound sense of relief. Many clients describe a tangible experience of change, often reporting sensations of their neural pathways lighting up, and almost every time, I witness a smile of recognition and ease on their faces at the end of the session.

This is a powerful, effective, and well-structured BWRT protocol that delivers consistent results. I highly recommend it to any practitioner working with clients who have unresolved relationship-based trauma.”