Verbal abuse is always wrong and never a non-issue

Verbal abuse is always wrong and it is never a non-issue. Some people trivialise verbal abuse, considering it much less important or significant than physical abuse. In my opinion this is a completely wrong way of thinking. Physical abuse harms the body, but verbal abuse harms the mind and the soul. Both types of abuse (and all other types of abuse) are completely unacceptable.

In certain respects verbal abuse can even be worse than physical abuse, because whereas the body almost always recovers over time from physical abuse the harm caused by verbal abuse can often persist over time – affecting the victim's sense of wellbeing, self-belief, and self-esteem – especially when the verbal abuse has taken place repeatedly over a period of time.

Furthermore, physical abuse is almost always preceded by verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is an expression of anger and malice that, in some instances, then escalates into physical violence.

The legal system is of only limited relevance when it comes to verbal abuse. The police and courts are only ever going to address the most extreme cases, or cases where the abuse is of a very public nature or relates to political priorities. Ironically, this means that the most serious and damaging types of verbal abuse – the insidious, long-term verbal abuse that takes place within ongoing relationships – will always get ignored or neglected.

What is needed is a culture of care and respect, which means to say that we need to recognise that we have a positive duty to care and respect for each other and to treat each other with respect and dignity. Happily enough, many people DO treat enough other with respect and dignity. That's wonderful and is something that needs to be encouraged within ALL types of relationship – no exceptions.

There's a lot more to be said and explored on this subject. For example:

• Why do abusers end up abusing? What has happened to them along the way that makes them think such behaviour is acceptable?

• Why do victims tolerate abuse (when they do)?

• How to recognise the many different types of verbal abuse and what to do about them?

• How can and should victims respond to verbal abuse?

• How and why does verbal abuse shape the victim's perception of themselves, their sense of wellbeing, and their self-esteem?

• What can be done to restore their wellbeing and self-esteem, and give them a positive self-identity?

• How can we create a culture of mutual care and respect in our relationship with others?